Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
