I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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