We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
