butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
