do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
