Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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