You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize