...so i touched it.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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