We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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