Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This house was built for laser tag.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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