careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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