yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
