On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
