did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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