Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The struggles of a small town man whore
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
