She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
