Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the day after is always just damage control
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
