im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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