if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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