I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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