My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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