every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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