Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize