i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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