It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
