She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
