i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
