I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
