This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
