wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
