I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
