hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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