her facebook's as public as her vagina
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
