He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize