What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
