the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize