i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
