i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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