why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
