i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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