i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
