i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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