Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.

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(631): View more from New York

Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.

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(956): View more from Texas

I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals

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