U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
