I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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