Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
