Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
