why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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