"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
