I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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