dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
