I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
