Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
