Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
