Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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