didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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