Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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