Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
