i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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