Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
