He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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