craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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