Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize