You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
