That's when you crack a 10am beer
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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