I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
