if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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