I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
