Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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