I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
