Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
