shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize