I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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